Want to fall in love with Mexico? Head to the Mayan
Hello everyone,
Mexico is without doubt the premiere holiday destination of the North Americans. I have only ventured to this country for work. My decision to avoid it for pleasure was motivated by the many horror stories that I have heard about safety. Granted, this naïve and cowardly disposition was prior to my stay in Asia where many vacation destinations were adventurous. Now back in this side of the world with a thicker skin than before, Mexico was a must. I took it easy, choosing to head to Playa del Carmen, a quaint but popular vacation town in the Yucatan Peninsula.
My arrival at Cancun Airport almost solidified the sketchy reputation of Mexico that was etched in my mind. Karin and I were picking up our bags and heading to our bus when we were guided to a sea of uniformed men helping us identify our tour bus. This felt legitimate enough. Thirty minutes later and after a hard sell to visit another resort to “simply be motivated to choose it next time” legitimacy turned to rudeness then to scam. The man offered to undercut tour costs for our desired tours as long as we visited his “hotel”. He made bizarre requests such as showing your ID with credit card underneath. Apparently this was to show that you have money. Now why on earth would he want to send me to his hotel if he thought that I was living on food stamps? He also wanted a deposit. Again, why would he want me to put down cash when it is him trying to sell me? Admittedly he was a good con. He found my weak point and laid into it. I am a man of my word and he quickly played the angle of, “ok I’ll cover all costs but you just have to promise that you’ll just come to my hotel. It is the only way that I’ll make a commission. I have your word, right?” I nodded and bid him farewell. Once on the bus, I googled “Cancun airport hussle” and quickly found answers to my suspicions. These are guys who try to get tourists to invest in property. They may very well offer discounted tours as a form of compensation for their pitch, but this is not certain. Another interesting fact that my Google search found was that credit card and bank card fraud is rampant in Playa Del Carmen. Fake bank machines, hidden cameras pointed at legitimate ones, etc. are common. Now remember, this guy was telling me to show up to his “hotel” and show my driver’s license with credit card underneath. Geez, I would have been the biggest sucker and most pained vacationer of all times if I’d fallen for this! Thank god, I wanted to make sure I really understood what I was being pitched and that it wasn’t some local custom that I needed to consider.
Communication among locals and visitors has apparently been strained for centuries. When the Spaniards first arrived to this lavish part of the world, they asked the native Mayans where they were. The locals responded, “Ou Ou Ka Ten” (not sure about the spelling but the phonetics are right). The Spaniards replied with gratitude – before they destroyed everything else, but that is another story for another time – “Ahhh, Yucatan”. Unfortunately they didn’t realize that Ou Ou Ka Ten in Mayan means, “I can’t understand you”. So this area is actually the Peninsula of people who don’t understand one another.
When we arrived at our resort, this comprehension issue was reinforced. It was late and we were looking forward to relax in our Junior Suite, taking a bubble bath in our Jacuzzi. Instead we opened our door to find a room with 5 beds (one was the couch which had been pulled out into a bed). Unless Karin went Branjolina on me without my knowledge, I saw no reason for all these beds. Moreover, I saw no possibility in cleaning all these “family members” with one shower. Where was the damn Jacuzzi? We quickly dashed back to the reception to tell them that there was a mix up. On arrival at the front lobby, we found two other couples complaining about the same topic. Apparently, the hotel moves people to other rooms whenever there is a complaint. This is a great gesture. When they do so and don’t bother checking their logs on upcoming check-ins, this kind gesture turns into a royal screw-up and pain in the butt. Fortunately, we kept our cool and were put into our paid room. The other guests weren’t so lucky. What I found hilarious is that our incident was not an isolated case. Every time we went to the front lobby to ask for the time or change money there was at least one couple there arguing about an incorrect room-booking. In retrospect, this is pretty funny. Everything else at the Sandos Playacar is excellent. They just have to sort out their ridiculous computer system.
Silliness also seems to be a common trait of visitors to these parts. Countless people venture into town feeling that utilizing local currency is just an option. Would they feel comfortable if they went to their corner hot dog stand in New York City and expect the guy to accept Indian Rupees or English Pounds? Of course not. However, they are shocked when they pay for a taco with US Dollars and get back half of what they expected… and in Pesos to boot.
Speaking of boots, what on earth is going through many tourists minds when they put on their clothes in a vacation town? First off, someone has to put into law a sandal policy. Unless you have a letter from your pediatrician that multi-strap sandals are imperative for your foot to heal after that horrific fungal surgery that you went through a few weeks back, you should not be allowed to wear those things. They are an eye-sore and scream pervert or child molester. Joking aside (well somewhat joking), I am utterly amused with the fashions that vacationers here feel totally comfortable to sport. During one wonderfully romantic dinner at our resort, Karin and I were visually assaulted by this American tourist who came prancing into our picturesque poolside, candle-lit dinner setting, with a pair of jacked-up three-quarter length cut acid-wash jean shorts, wearing no belt, a tucked-in golf shirt, and long white socks with clunky New Balance shoes. To top off this runway-worthy ensemble, our hero groomed himself with a plush Tom Selleck mustache coupled with a vibrant Patrick Swayze mullet, circa his Youngblood movie days.
However, we all have a bit of redneck in us. The desire to do crazy wilderness adventures, the hunger for a bit of motorsports, and so on. Luckily, Playa Del Carmen is loaded with this stuff. I was only able to participate in a few of them: ATVing and Zip-lining. The Yucatan is actually made of a thick jungle bordered by pristine white sand beaches and cut-up by dirt paths. This terrain is ideal for an ATV. There is one major caveat that you need to consider and then act on when taking such a tour. Do you want to go fast? If the answer to this is yes, then be sure to get the last ATV in the tour line. If not, you will be stuck between aunt Sofia who is experiencing her first ride an a motorcycle and uncle Jack who abides by every rule to the tee and is livid when others don’t do the same. Net net, you putter along at a snails’ pace and cause the Honda motor to sink further into depression as it asks only for someone to use it to its full potential. By taking the last vehicle, you can allow the slow pokes in front of you to putter ahead while you wait idle for half a minute or so. Then, gun it. Repeated, this action ensures that you truly have an adventure tour. On the stretch where you hit the beach sand, this tactic guarantees that the ride is what you paid for. Another hair-raising tour is the military-style zip-line rides over the jungle canopy. I wasn’t expecting this to be anything special, but the Tulum Extreme tour was awesome. First off, the towers from which you travel over the jungle are gigantic. The sheer size gets your heart pumping. Once on the ride, nervousness quickly turns to exhilaration. On top of this thrill, you are treated to a repel down a 20 meter drop and a 40 minute snorkel in an underground fresh-water cave. Our tour guide was especially funny. A classic moment was when he picked-up some locals on the road to the zip-line site. As they entered the van, he shouted in English, “be careful of your wallets”. Quickly several tourists scrambled for their bags. As it would turn out, these were hired hands at the zip-line site. Sergio, as he was called, laughed at the paranoid tourists. Karin and I also keeled over laughing, almost choking on our gum.
As a matter of fact, gum as we know it today owes its existence to the Mayan Peninsula. Mr. Adams, founder of the company known today for powerhouse brands such as Dentyne, Clorets, and so on, came to this Mexican region many moons ago and was mesmerized by this chewy stuff that local Mayans extracted from trees. They put it into their mouth and chewed on it to clean their teeth. When he asked its name, he was told it was “Chickleta” (again my spelling is off but the sound is right). This literally means clean mouth in Mayan. He took the tree sap from which the chewy wonder was made back to America and the famous Chicklets brand was born. Of course, he added flavors and sugars to turn this originally healthy sap into a chewy candy. Hey, we’ve been good at goofing up nature’s wonders haven’t we?
A recent “official” wonder of the world is Chichen Itza, a gargantuan Mayan temple three hours inland from Playa Del Carmen. This is well worth the ride. A glimpse into the great Mayan past is a must while you are in this region. They were a great civilization, who created the most advanced writing in this part of the world and were advanced astrologists, among many other noteworthy talents. The guides that take you to this marvelous place provide many insights into their people’s past. However, a pre-read would be encouraged so that your visit to Chichen Itza, Tulum, or any other Mayan ruin is a richer experience.
However, for all its history, amazing sights, and extreme activities, Playa Del Carmen is above all a party town. It is an odd mixture of Borocay mixed with South Beach with a speckling of Venice Beach. The vibe is fantastic because the people are happy, the food is exceptional, the bars are creative and unique, and the stores (or street-side shacks) are magnetic. Right now, this great little place has not succumbed to the “Spring Break Syndrome” which has taken victim a nearby Cancun. I fear that it will eventually do so because it is just an awesome place for fun, sun, and other pleasures. Therefore, you should head here soon and do so during a time in the year where school is NOT out. When you do book a trip, be sure to stay for at least ten days. There is simply too much to do for any shorter stay. I made that mistake this time and am already trying to figure out when to return next.
Until next time.
If you like this photo, check out other nice shots from Mexico at flickr.com/frankmertens
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